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Friday, June 14, 2013

Marriage: The Covenant Satan Seeks To Devour


It's been awhile since I've put together a study but I felt it on my heart to put together another study on marriage and relationships, this time about the Devil and how he seeks to destroy them.  I've been reading articles and scriptures on this subject recently, and the more I read, the more I come to realize that Satan has been trying to worm his way into my own marriage for years... into my covenant between myself, my husband, and God.

I once read somewhere that being a Christian is the hardest thing you can do, because you will always be under attack from Satan.  I am finally coming to see that this is true.  Being one of God's children isn't easy, but God won't allow us to take on anything that we can't handle with His help.  My first hope in sharing this particular study is to show you some of the ways that the devil tries to hurt us as God's children, so that you can be vigilant and aware of what's going on, and head it off at the pass.  God doesn't want us to suffer, and He warns us to keep watch in 1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour."  Satan is ready and waiting to devour us alive.

My second hope with this study is to get some discussion going in the comment section and on Twitter and Facebook about the ways the devil tries to break into our lives and destroy them, how God helps us to combat the devil, and how we can take steps such as fervent prayer to live for God instead of being of use to Satan.

Before we start, you may want to read about biblical marriage and how it started HERE, and how husbands and wives are instructed to treat each other HERE.  These two articles are a great resource as a compilation of marriage scriptures.

Satan's Devices

2 Corinthians 2:11 says "Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices."

God warns us of Satan's devices and the ways he works by showing us in the Bible, and if we break the devil's tactics down into steps, you may see places in your life in the past or present where he's tried to worm his way in and take over.  It was certainly a shock for me when I began to look at these things.

1) Satan Attacks Our Relationship With God

First and foremost Satan seeks to destroy your relationship with God.  We first see this happening in Genesis with Adam and Eve when Satan tries to bring doubt to Eve about what God wants from her.  Genesis 3:1-4 "Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.  And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die."

We see here not only that Satan is subtle (he slips in), but he questions God, "Yea hath God said?"  Then Satan goes directly against God by contradicting Him and saying, "Ye shall not surely die."  He brings doubt to Eve in her relationship with God and does as good as calling God a liar and making Eve believe that God isn't giving her something that's good for her.  Once we start doubting God and his Word, we open the door for Satan to march in and start making us doubt our spouse and the marriage covenant we have.  In Adam and Eve's case, doubt ended up causing them to sin and ultimately separating them from God.  Satan's plan worked.  If a little doubt can cause a separation from God for Adam and Eve, what can a little doubt do to a Christian marriage?  It's like Satan marinading us for a meal to 'devour' us.

2) Satan Gets A Spouse To Make The Wrong Choice

Eve knew it was wrong to eat from the tree in the midst of the garden, but she let doubt creep in, and then gave the fruit to Adam to eat also, and Adam, though he knew what he was doing, made the wrong choice anyway.  Eve was tricked, but Adam knew what he was doing when he ate the fruit.  

With the holy ghost dwelling within us, we know when something is a bad choice because we feel that tug on the inside telling us that it's wrong, yet spouses still end up choosing to be lead astray from their marriage, whether they're Christian or not.  I know of many Christians who knew it was wrong, and had affairs anyway.  As Christians we know it's wrong to seek out other people to fill our needs when this is our spouses job, but it happens to some people anyway.  Why is this?  I believe it has to do with Satan making us doubt, but also with being weak when it comes to making a choice for God, or for yourself.  It's the difference between living in the flesh, and living in the spirit.  Satan makes it appear that a spouse has no other option than to seek to get their needs met elsewhere, when it just isn't true.  There is always a choice, and this leads into our next point.

3) Satan Tries To Get Us To Blame Others For Our Own Mistakes And Undesirable Situations

When God came walking in the garden after Adam and Eve ate the fruit, what was the first thing Adam did?  He pointed the finger at Eve, even though it was his choice to eat the fruit.  He had made the bad decision on his own, but he still tried to place the blame on Eve:  Genesis 3:11-12 "And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?  And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat."

It almost seems as if Adam points the finger at God and then at Eve saying that it was the woman that God gave him.  He wants to put the blame anywhere but on himself.  This also happens in marriages.  It's uncomfortable to admit that we're wrong or that we made a bad decision, and often the other spouse doesn't make it easy to save face in a situation like that.  When a spouse has cheated they will often point the finger at the other spouse and say something along the lines of, "It's your fault.  You didn't give me what I wanted or needed."  Again, there is always a choice, though Satan will try to get you believe that there isn't.

When one or both spouses refuses to admit that they were wrong or that they made a bad choice, it puts a road block in healing the marriage or fixing the problem.  A marriage takes two people to keep running, and two people to fix problems.  If one spouse is unwilling to admit that they made a mistake, then there can't be an open and honest discussion about the issues the couple is facing, and they can't grow and move on.  What ends up happening is that issues pile up and never get dealt with, and ends up leaving one or both spouses feeling bitter and unhappy.

So far, just with the first three points, Satan has a pretty good plan of attack for breaking up Christian marriages.  He attacks your relationship with God, makes you doubt, tries to get you to make the wrong choices even when you know they're wrong, and tries to get you to deny any wrongdoing so that communication is blocked and problems in the marriage can't be fixed.  Now it becomes easy to see how Satan lays in wait to 'devour' us.  Lets look at what else the deceiver does to a marriage.

4) Satan Tries To Divide Us

When Adam blamed Eve for his own wrongdoing in eating the fruit, do you think it might have driven a wedge between them?  What if your own spouse started blaming you for their own wrongdoings?  Doubt in your spouse, blaming others for your own problems, lying, and a general lack in communication are all things that will divide two people in a relationship.  There's a saying: united we stand, divided we fall.  If you are united with your spouse and God, a strong front against the devil, it will be all the harder for the devil to take you down.  If Satan can separate you however, get you to stop communicating or trusting each other, and divide you over differences of opinion, then he has two separate and much weaker targets to attack.  

I would imagine that driving wedges between husbands and wives is one of Satan's favorite pastimes.  One small unresolved difference of opinion can lead to another and another.  True, we must sometimes agree to disagree, but often Satan will choose small annoyances in a relationship and then try to block communication as we read earlier, so that problems will build up and push spouses further and further apart.  After reading this far, it may seem hopeless trying to resist Satan's influences in our lives and marriages, but at the end of the article we'll cover a few strong defenses against the devil's attacks.

Getting us to avoid and withdraw from issues instead of taking the time to resolve them is another one of the devices Satan uses to drive us apart.  Often just because we don't want to argue or discuss our own shortcomings, or just because we're weary of our spouse being mad, we'll avoid an issue altogether.  The fight or flight response, some call this phenomenon.  Unfortunately we don't often see that there's a third option.  We don't have to fight with a spouse about an issue, and we don't have to withdraw and flee either.  Instead, spouses can sit down and pray about it, and resolve to discuss any issues in the relationship in a calm, respectful manner with each other, even if they don't come to an agreement in the end.  Sometimes issues in a marriage take time to resolve, but one thing is for certain, if you withdraw from your spouse and refuse to work things out, then the issues will never be resolved and will pile up.


5) Satan Wants You To Drag Other People Into Marriage Problems

Talking about marriage problems with people of the opposite sex, or people that are not a good Christian influence can be very dangerous in both instances.  If a husband or wife begins confiding their marriage problems in a friend of the opposite sex, they are setting themselves up for an affair.  The more they tell their new 'confidant' about how terrible their spouse is, the more they trust and like their friend.  This is a slippery slope and can lead to an affair very fast.  It starts out innocent, but before they know it, they find themselves having feelings for this friend, and they feel as if this new friend is the only one who understands them.  This is not conducive to reconciling with their spouse, who is the one they should be confiding in.  Even though they know it's wrong, they end up making the choice to have an affair because they believe it's their only options to get their needs met.

The other side of this coin is the spouse that talks about their marriage problems, or bad mouths their spouse to a friend or family member who is not Christian (not that bad mouthing your spouse is ever a good idea or loving thing to do).  Sometimes we do need an outsider to give us a fresh perspective on things, but this person should be someone of the same sex, who is a Bible believing, Bible following Christian.  Non-Christians will bring in worldly views and encourage you to do un-Godly things, and often they will encourage you towards divorce and fill your head with the notion that you are 'better' than your spouse and that you 'deserve better' instead of encouraging you to reconcile in a Biblical manner.  I believe the only time that divorce should be encouraged, is when one spouse is physically or mentally abusive to their spouse and or children in some way.  If this is the case, then separation is for the safety of the family members involved, not just because someone thinks 'you can do better'.

6) Satan Wants You To Believe Your Problems Are Bigger Than God

I've fallen into this trap myself on a number of occasions.  Sometimes the situation seems hopeless and you begin to wonder if God wants to help you fix things, or if He is ignoring you, or if He can even fix things at all.  These are all tricks of the devil.  A covenant with God (marriage) is something to be kept, not thrown away, and I do not believe God would try to make two people divorce, so we can throw that notion out the window right away.  The same goes for anything within the relationship that would lead to divorce.  If you're despairing over a lack of communication or needs getting met within your marriage, don't think that God can't fix the problem.  Pray about it, fervently and often (we'll talk about this more at the end of the study).  If one spouse cheated, don't let the devil make you believe that this problem is beyond God to make right.  There are many many books out there about Christian couples, where one cheated and God took their marriage and turned it around and made it better than it ever was before.  

Our God is not a small, insignificant God.  He is the creator of the universe and everything within.  He's the one who made every star and remembers each star's name, He's the one who sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for us so our sins could be washed away, He's the one who made the first marriage covenant with Adam and Eve.  God can do anything except lie to you.  Lying is the one thing God cannot do (Titus 1:2).

7) Satan Wants To Draw Our Attention Away From God

This point goes along nicely with number 6.  Satan wants to confuse us and get us to stop listening to what God is telling us.  This tactic comes by way of distraction.  Instead of reading our Bible daily, Satan wants us to engage in other activities, and somehow five minutes a day seems like too much of a burden to sit and open your Bible before bed or while eating breakfast.  Instead of praying with your spouse, Satan wants you to fight or to avoid the issues altogether.  Instead of talking about problems in a respectful manner, Satan wants you to get mad and start yelling and saying hurtful things to each other.  Instead of focusing on God and what God can do, Satan wants us to focus on money issues.

Matthew 14:26-32 "And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.  But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.  And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.  And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.  But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.  And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?  And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased."

We see a great example of someone's attention getting drawn away from the Lord in Matthew 14.  Peter has faith enough to get out of the boat and walk across the water to Jesus, but then he gets distracted by the wind and suddenly his faith falters.  Take note however, that while Peter got distracted and took his attention away from Jesus, he cried out for Jesus to save him, and Jesus did.  Satan would have let Peter drown right there having drawn his attention away from Christ, but Christ was there waiting for Peter to call out to be saved.  When we find ourselves distracted and lead away from Christ, we can always call out for help and Jesus will be there to pull us from the turbulent waves.  Also take note that as soon as Peter asked Jesus to take charge of the situation and Jesus got Peter safely into the boat, the wind stopped.  Put your eyes on Christ and keep them there and let the wind that Satan sends your way not bother you at all.

8) Satan Wants Us To Give In To Idolatry

Whether it's work, money, hobbies, addictions, or just setting our spouse up on a pedestal, Satan wants us to place higher importance on other things and other people than we do on God.

Remember that in Exodus 20:3-5 God tells us: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me.  Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.  Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them..."

Idols are another device Satan uses to distract us.  We work hard, long hours because we need to fill our need for money so we can have nice houses and cars and buy more and more stuff that we want but don't really need.  We place such a high value on money that much of our time and attention is focused on it instead of on God.  Serving money instead of God also detracts from your time with your spouse, and many many marriages break up because of financial difficulties when two people try to live beyond their means.

The same thing happens when you serve an addiction or hobby instead of God.  I'm reminded of the husband in the movie 'Fireproof' who had two addictions: pornography and his boat.  He spent his time serving his addictions instead of serving God and focusing on his wife.  Unfortunately this is the case in many marriages, where one or both spouses is so focused on other things, their attention is off of God and their family.
Setting your spouse up on a pedestal is another form of idolatry.  Oftentimes, especially with young couples or newlyweds, someone places their spouse up on a pedestal by having high expectations of them, often times higher than their own expectations of themselves.  They expect their spouse to be perfect, they expect them to never fail or falter, to never sin, to never make a mistake.  This leads to both spouses being sorely disappointed.  The one because their spouse didn't live up to their overzealous expectations, and the other because they can't live up to their spouses expectations no matter how hard they try.  When you expect your spouse to be perfect, it's like you're worshiping them like you would God.

God warns us again in 1John 5:21 "Little children, keep yourselves from idols," and that "Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god," in Psalm 16:4.  God feels so strongly against idolatry that we're warned in 1 Corinthians 10:14 to "flee from idolatry."  Unfortunately, from the time Satan told Eve that she would become like a God in Genesis after eating the fruit, to now, this remains one of Satan's favorite tactics in destroying a Christian marriage.

How Satan Gets In

The following is a list of things people do in marriages that open the door for Satan to come in.  Take note of each thing, because avoiding these things will help keep the deceiver out of your relationship:

  • Withholding sex from your spouse 
    • 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."
  • Spending too much time thinking on your spouses negative attributes instead of their positive qualities
  • Saying hurtful things
    • Proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger."
    • Proverbs 21:23 "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." 
    • Luke 6:45 "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." 
    • Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."
  • Not being thankful for your spouse.  Not cherishing your spouse.
  • Being disrespectful to your spouse
    • 1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 
    • 1 Peter 2:17 "Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king."
    • Ephesians 5:21-22 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”
  • Refusing to let go of your spouses mistakes instead of forgiving them
    • Matthew 6:15 "But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." 
  • Not admitting when you were in the wrong or saying you're sorry (and meaning it)
  • Being sarcastic and bitter to your spouse 
    •  Collosians 3:18-19 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."
  • Holding your own wants, needs, and rights above those of your spouse 
    • (I highly recommend reading the Love Dare book to learn about this and many other important principles)
  • Not putting your time, effort, energy, and money into your relationship with your spouse
  • Not guarding your heart 
    • Proverbs 4:23 "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."
  • Letting the word or concept of 'divorce' creep into your marriage
  • Judging your spouse for his or her mistakes
    • Matthew 7:1-2 "Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
  • Letting other family members or friends dictate what happens in your marriage
  • Forgetting to pray daily with your spouse
    • James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
  • Forgetting to read your Bible daily

Helpful Books

I highly recommend the following books if you would like to grow closer to your spouse, learn how to protect yourself and your marriage from Satan, and improve your marriage in every aspect.  These books come from a biblical perspective and are easy to understand:


My favorite is The Love Dare book.  You may have heard of it if you've seen the movie Fireproof.  My entire perspective on marriage has changed since reading the Love Dare and it has been a great help to me in explaining the biblical principles of God's love and how that applies to us in a marriage relationship.  It even gives you a clear cut guide on how to pray in the appendix, and daily homework assignments.  I didn't do it one day at a time as it suggests.  I did one every few days so I could more fully meditate and take in each concept and incorporate it into my life.

His Needs Her Needs comes in a close second to the Love Dare book.  Willard Harley Jr does a great job laying out the basic needs we often fail to meet for our spouses, and also lays out some basic biblical principles of marriage and how failing to meet your spouses needs can lead to an affair, while meeting them can make your marriage better than ever.

Love and Respect is a book/DVD series used in many churches for couples counseling and couple studies, and has been a great help to many many couples.

Join In
If you have any questions or comments, or would like to join in on the discussion about the things Satan does to ruin relationships or how to guard you heart from Satan, leave a comment below, send us a shout out to @refugebaptist on Twitter, or come visit us at CBSB's Facebook page.

28 comments:

  1. Another way Satan tries to destroy marriages is to get you to fight and believe your spouse either doesn't love, or doesn't respect you. You may not mean to disrespect your husband, you may not mean to be unloving towards your wife, but Satan does mean this.

    Love and Respect is a great resource to learn about how wives need love and husbands need respect, and how they often don't get it from each other, or don't see each other's well-intentioned actions as loving or respecting.

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  2. You claim to be a Christian but you have a bar crawl blog as well, look in the mirror what you portray to the world. Just look at your user name and telling other people how to live.

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    1. We all fall short in the eyes of our father but he works on us, changes us in his timing. Don't look at the past of someone's life but to the future of a life with Christ! God takes the sinner and changes their lives. That is if we allow him to. I will pray for you anonymous for this is a remark straight from Satan himself!

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  3. @Anonymous, I don't have any blogs about bars, and our house is a dry house. We don't drink or buy alcohol. My username is my name, so there's nothing wrong with my username. Has it occurred to you that there are other people with he same username out there, or are you simply trying to comment and discredit my blog because you dislike what was written?

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  4. This is a very powerful post about how Satan tends to work in any way possible to destroy us.

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  5. Bad finances will only ruin a marriage IF the partners let Satan ruin it.

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  6. That is so true but its hard to work on a marriage when the other not willing i love my husband im not perfect he only ee things his way or no way im tire of fighting by myself i really dont want our marriage to end but me praying and takin it to the father alone with him his actions attend to break down all im striving for sometimes i wonder was he really the one i was suppose to marry

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  7. Dear Anonymous sister in Christ, I feel for you and believe me when I say I've been there. Don't doubt your marriage to your husband. Remember that if God joined you together no person is meant to break you apart.

    Men (and women) can be very stubborn and want their way. I believe it's an issue of selfishness in the heart and a lack of seeing through the eyes of their spouse. I know it's hard when the other is not willing, but let me ask you this: Do you love him? Is that love worth it? When I asked myself these questions when our marriage was struggling and I was the only one willing to work on it, the answer was a definite yes. I did love him, and I did want it to work. It was worth it.

    For more than a year I prayed throughout the day every day for help with my marriage, I went around the house and prayed in each room, I prayed over the clothes he wore to work. I read the Love Dare and it changed my heart and the way I saw marriage and the way I treated my husband. I also read Love and Respect and that changed the way I viewed how I was treating my husband and how our arguments worked to turn us and our hearts against each other. And I never gave up, because I knew God would never give up on me or my family.

    Do we still struggle? Yes, but after more than a year of a struggle so serious that our marriage almost ended, I slowly began to see a change. My heart had changed because of the prayers and the books I had read, and I had a sincere desire to change my behavior to become the person and wife I felt God wanted me to be, and I made the decision that no matter what, I would not stop trying to fix things. I would not act badly, or without love or without respect towards my husband, even if I didn't feel very loving towards him in a particular moment or day, and even if I felt I wasn't being treated the way I wanted to be as his wife. That was one of the big things the Love Dare did for me. It made me see that there are different kinds of love and you may experience several of these kinds in a marriage, but the one that keeps the marriage together is the unconditional kind, the kind God shows us 'Agape' love. It's the type of love that is a choice, the choice to always act kindly, lovingly, and respectful towards your spouse, even if you don't feel like it, even if you feel angry, even if you feel like your heart is shredding to pieces. Reading that changed me. Before that he'd get upset or angry and say something unkind, and I'd lash out (Love and Respect calls this the crazy cycle). Instead of taking a step back and continuing to act loving I would be as unloving as I felt he was being. Did this make things better? No it always made it worse. So I took the principles I learned in those two books and applied them to every aspect of my marriage, and while for 12 months I didn't see a change, I didn't give up. At about fourteen months, I noticed my husband changing, slowly but surely. He hadn't read the books, he hadn't prayed for our marriage to get better, he hadn't agreed to go to counseling, but there was still a change happening for the better. That change continues to happen today.

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  8. Here's what I would suggest:

    Get those two books (about $10 each on Amazon or at Wal-Mart), read a couple pages a day out of each and meditate on what you read and really try to apply those to your heart. You can ask if your husband would be willing to read them with you, and tell him it would mean a lot to you. He may say no, and if he does, it doesn't mean you have to stop reading them.

    Ask him to go to counseling. Find a Christian marriage counselor, there are usually a few in every city. If he feels uncomfortable with you picking the counselor, give him a list of Christian marriage counselors and ask him to pick.

    Apply the principles from the books to your marriage, pray daily, seek out biblical advice from your support system, don't let doubt creep into your heart, and don't give up. It's hard I know. There are a lot of secular sites, books and TV shows out there that will try to turn you against your husband, will try to say 'you deserve better so dump him on the side of the road now...'. Guess what? The more you listen to those things the more you occupy that room in your mind where all the negative qualities of your husband reside, instead of residing in that room where his positive qualities lie, and soon you will become bitter and will look at ending things. Stay in that positive room, because once you've closed the door on that positive room, it's very very hard to get back.

    You know, I read something once that has also helped me to keep going and never give up, and I want to share that with you now. I read about a husband and wife once, the husband got saved, the wife didn't. She had some personal emotional issues from her past that had caught up with her, and she began taking it out on her husband. By her own confession, she was a horrible person and a horrible wife and she wondered why he didn't just divorce her, because for five long years she was terrible to him and very hard to live with. As it turned out, he had been praying about their marriage and for her for five long years. He'd been consistently kind and loving to her for five long years which for him must have been torture because he was giving his wife love to be turned around and treated very poorly. He didn't give up and he didn't give in to the temptation to doubt his relationship to her, if it was 'ordained' or 'meant to be' or not. After five years, she finally came around, got saved, and was able to start dealing with her issues. This story reminded me that it might be that one last prayer you pray that starts a change in motion. If that guy had given up after a few months, a year, two years, they wouldn't have saved the marriage and they wouldn't have been married for so long happily after that very rough patch they'd gone through. He could have given up at any time, but he kept praying, kept trying. So I read that story, and I thought, what if I stop now? What if I give up now when tomorrow could be the day that change happens?

    Sister, I know you're tired of fighting this battle alone, but my prayer's are with you, and God is with you too. You are never alone and will never be in this battle. If you want to talk more about this, leave another comment. I'm here to listen and pray with you.

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  9. This article shall be very help full to me. First i need to repent and trust God to restore my marriage.

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  10. Thank you for this.I felt so alone and kept askimg myself if it worth the fight.. yes it is.We both made some terrible hurtful mistakes.But God is bigger than the issues..

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  11. @Michele you are not alone. God is with you and so are your sisters in Christ! @Anonymous, trust God to restore your marriage, pray about it, and then put feet to your prayers.

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  12. I've just been reading this article and it makes more sense now that the devil daily focuses on destroying my marriage. My husband and I will be married for 5 years this August. When i try to look back, i can count the number of times ive genuinely felt happy in marriage. We are both christians but many times we've not acted it. We've conflicted so many times, played blame games and now i feel like our relationship is plastic. My husband is a party animal, has many friends and very people pleasing and this makes him a very unreliable person. Not that having friends or loving 'party time' is bad but this is something that robs us alot of quality time together as a family. It has drained & put stress on our marriage. We have two beautiful daughters whom he loves and cares for but i feel something big is missing from our marriage. Long story short, average time he returns home from work on week days is 1:00am. I usually don't see him till 5:00am on fridays, saturdays. We go together to church on sunday but disappears immediately after lunch and we get to see him again at 11:00pm or slightly beyond. No quality time whatsoever. I feel so frustrated. Night clubs are now an important part of his life, and also, much as he stubbornly disagrees, i know he is involved in an affair given evidences i haveand even tried to show him once in a while. This makes me feel disrespected anf unloved. With the onset of this digital era of social media, his attention can't be easily drifted away from his mobile handset. But amidst all this, I love my husband and truely want God to restore him & our marriage. I believe much more now that we are under attack and need God's saving grace. Please pray for us. Thanks & God bless your ministry.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles sister. I will be praying for you and your family. Remember, God is bigger than our problems. Have you talked to your pastor about the issues you're having? Does your husband have Godly men in his life that he is close to? Have you talked to your husband about wanting to restore the marriage? You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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    2. Hi there
      you missed something in your description of ways Satan has come into marriages today.
      The marriages that are granted by government are a three party for profit unions between the boy the girl and the state. Bringing government into marriage is an abomination.

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    3. I am having marriage issues too. My own daughter has the enemy used. I believe this has happen because GOD has called me to announce the second coming of our LORD JESUS CHRISIT. I AM IN PRAYER. YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE MY MISSION. I DID'nt EITHER. Till I found MYSELF IN MALACHI 4:1-6 There is a Third ELIJAH. I CARRY MY CROSS.

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  13. Stumbled upon this post today and it is very powerful. This sums up many things me and my spouse have been dealing with lately. We knew it was an attack by the enemy but to see it laid out so clearly, I feel will really help us. We are determined to make our marriage work. This is truly a spiritual warfare. Thank you for extra the ammunition.

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  14. My wife and I have been battling addiction. Myself for only a few months, and her for a few years. We have made plenty of mistakes over the years and to the point we are now on the verge of loosening our kids to state custody. I have a real desire to stay straight, and so does she. But she has been in this longer and thus it's harder for her. We argue a lot and can't seem to make it past 3 days without a huge blow up. I struggle with forgiveness on some choices she made over the last 2 years, and she blames herself for introducing me into this lifestyle. She feels responsible for my addiction. Now she wants to (or has) separate to "fix her". She says she can't work on us until she fixes her and I fix me. But she is part of who I am, and I don't understand how I fix me, with a large part of me not here. We used to study and pray. I grew up in a bible believing church and believe (even if I don't follow as I should). She is a believe, but very young in the Word. I don't feel separation would be good for us. I really think we should seek coinciding and work this out, together. Am I wrong? Is separation best? And if so, after a recent affair I don't know if I would survive it. I just can't see a separation any other way than the beginning of the end. Any thoughts?

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    1. I'm praying for you and your marriage! You are not alone! I would pray to God to cover you, your spouse, and your marriage and children with His grace, love, healing, and mercy. Remember that no problem is too big for God to fix. We don't always understand what God is doing in our lives, but we know that whatever God has planned for us is bigger and better than anything we could ever have imagined for ourselves. I don't know if separation is best or not. I do know that some people separate and then come back together after a time. I also know that if she is intent on separating, then there is nothing you can do about it but continue to pray, try to work on yourself and your relationship with God, and set an example for her. If she is asking for space, then all you can really do is give it to her. Ask her to pray with you about your marriage, and in those prayers ask God to lead you both in the direction He wants you to go. Talk to her about counseling in a gentle manner, but remember, if she doesn't want to do it, you can't force her to. Trying to force another person to change or do something they don't want to will only create bitter feelings for the both of you. It can be hard, especially when you feel so much for another person. Right now I would focus on praying, on getting yourself right with God and setting a good example for your wife and kids, and on doing whatever it takes to make things right so that your kids can stay with at least one of you instead of going to the state. Your marriage is important, but remember that your kids are a product of the love that came out of your marriage, and they are important too. I don't know if I've been of any help. If you want to talk, I'm here. I will continue to pray for you.

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  15. The devil is a liar......recently my family was almost shot down by my friends/neighbors boyfriend because she ran into my house when they were fighting,as we are trying to get over that the lady whom I was assisting(friend) is trying to discredit me and break up my marriage by calling my in-laws and husband and spreading lies about me.....I'm confused because I have always thought that my friend was a christian now the things that she is doing are clearly the work of the devil....because God is good at all times i know that my marriage will come out stronger ....the blog has put a lot of things into perspective.thank you

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. Unfortunately we are all people and as people we are flawed. This means that even Christians can do bad things and sometimes be mean spirited. I have met many mean spirited Christians before. We will always struggle with sin. Being Christian doesn't mean we're perfect or automatically act in a way that shines the light of God for others to see. That is something we have to work at. I'm glad the blog was able to help.

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  16. Excellent article that I really need right now. Keep it up an praise Jesus!

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  17. This was a great blog. So glad I came across this. I DO have a tip for the other readers...

    My girlfriends and I recently watched the movie War Room. This is a GREAT film, and I highly recommend it for women. It's a movie about an older woman teaching a younger woman how to take up arms against the devil and to become a warrior for her failing marriage. It was amazing, and there are a few books that go nicely with it.

    After watching the movie, we decided that we would read one of the books, entitled Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. She is an actress in the movie, and she wrote this book about the 10 most frequent areas of a woman's life that Satan attacks. We decided to meet up once every other week, and each period would be dedicated to one or two chapters in the book. This is our first week, and our first meeting is on the 16th of this month.

    This movie changed my life, and it will change yours too. The book we are going through is such an amazing tool, and explains the real-life applications of prayer from a woman's perspective. It's amazing what a little prayer can do when you are precise, focused, and have a strategy.

    I highly encourage anyone with a struggling marriage to watch this movie, and this book will help you apply what you see in the film to your own life experiences. Such an amazing opportunity.

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  18. My husband is not home yet. I know that only God can heal his heart. He had an affair and thinks he loves her more. We have been married 26 years and known eachother for 30. He always said I could have enough faith for the both of us. My heart was so broken that I cried out to God to help me. I read in the bible how God is my husband, for now.. He will never leave me or forsake me. I have learned to put my hope in God, not my husband. I prayed first for my husband, and then God put love back in my heart and showed me that I needed to pray for my marriage. I told my husband almost a year ago now since he left, that our marriage didn't work because we needed to put God first. He told me then, that he didn't want to talk about God, read the bible or go to church! Like I said he still is not home, but God has given me unconditional love for my spouse, the strength to forgive every day and the courage to stand and pray for our marriage! My husband is now going to church and even said that he has prayed for me on several occasions. I asked God to change me, and he has. I now know that I can ask God for exponential faith and instead of asking God to fix all my problems, I now ask Him to use me. How can I be a blessing to others, and to put people in my path that I can share the love of God with. My friends see how God has changed me. Even though this was the worst time in my life... By seeking God's view of my circumstances, I have learned and am still learning how to let God lead and listen to the Holy Spirit every minute of every day. So loving Jesus and dying to myself every day is where God has finally got me. I don't need my husband to come home to be happy because my joy is found in the Lord and no matter how hard things are I look to my God first and trust that He has a plan for me. I am praying for my husband to have a Damascus road experience, so that he can come home a Godly husband and father to his two hurting sons. God is faithful and He hears our prayers when we live a life pleasing to Him! Remember to Pray (asking for direction from the Holy Spirit in how to pray properly) to praise and to thank God every day even in the midst of your trials. I used to say everything happens for a reason. Now I know that everything that happens is God working in our lives. He wants to give you beauty for your ashes, look to Him and not at your circumstances! I see God working all around me and in my children's lives too. He has given me new Godly friends and even put some Godly people in my husband's life. Please pray with me for our marriage restoration and my husband's salvation. God is always there and He is always listening!

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  19. My husband is not home yet. I know that only God can heal his heart. He had an affair and thinks he loves her more. We have been married 26 years and known eachother for 30. He always said I could have enough faith for the both of us. My heart was so broken that I cried out to God to help me. I read in the bible how God is my husband, for now.. He will never leave me or forsake me. I have learned to put my hope in God, not my husband. I prayed first for my husband, and then God put love back in my heart and showed me that I needed to pray for my marriage. I told my husband almost a year ago now since he left, that our marriage didn't work because we needed to put God first. He told me then, that he didn't want to talk about God, read the bible or go to church! Like I said he still is not home, but God has given me unconditional love for my spouse, the strength to forgive every day and the courage to stand and pray for our marriage! My husband is now going to church and even said that he has prayed for me on several occasions. I asked God to change me, and he has. I now know that I can ask God for exponential faith and instead of asking God to fix all my problems, I now ask Him to use me. How can I be a blessing to others, and to put people in my path that I can share the love of God with. My friends see how God has changed me. Even though this was the worst time in my life... By seeking God's view of my circumstances, I have learned and am still learning how to let God lead and listen to the Holy Spirit every minute of every day. So loving Jesus and dying to myself every day is where God has finally got me. I don't need my husband to come home to be happy because my joy is found in the Lord and no matter how hard things are I look to my God first and trust that He has a plan for me. I am praying for my husband to have a Damascus road experience, so that he can come home a Godly husband and father to his two hurting sons. God is faithful and He hears our prayers when we live a life pleasing to Him! Remember to Pray (asking for direction from the Holy Spirit in how to pray properly) to praise and to thank God every day even in the midst of your trials. I used to say everything happens for a reason. Now I know that everything that happens is God working in our lives. He wants to give you beauty for your ashes, look to Him and not at your circumstances! I see God working all around me and in my children's lives too. He has given me new Godly friends and even put some Godly people in my husband's life. Please pray with me for our marriage restoration and my husband's salvation. God is always there and He is always listening!

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  20. Please pray for our marriage, S and T, my husband left me six weeks ago....and I believe is in an or about to start an adulterous relationship with a person who is an atheist and worships false Gods. I see the enemies plan here to get my husband, to not only sin but to fall away from jesus Completely. Please pray for our marriage but more importantly for my husband's eyes to be open so that he can return to Christ. thank you

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  21. Hello, my husband and I have been married for about 2 years. We are both Christians and try to pray together everyday. Even though we both grew up as Christians and in the church we both still have a past. My past tends to be very hurtful to my husband even though he was not in the picture at the time it rears its ugly head in the form of my ex trying to contact me and sending him hurtful emails . We have been faithful to each other but it seems like lately that Satan is attacking our marriage even harder . We very much do trust each other but at times we get weary. This really bothers my husband and I know he is trying to stay strong and believe me when I talk to him about these things but Satan has a way of planting a seed of distrust. Even though I have never cheated on him and my past relationships were before my husband, I do leave my phone and email completely open for him so that he feels free at any moment to check to help squash any thoughts or feelings. Do you have any verses that maybe I am unaware of and your thoughts on this matter to maybe help my husband and I deal with the enemy at Its core?

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  22. Thank you so much, this article has been so helpful it has given me hope right when i was on the verge of giving up on my marriage. my husband and i are married for about 5years now , we have two kids and one on the way. for the past 2 years i have felt that my husband drift far a way from me, and lately its been very hard. he tells me he still loves me but i feel his actions do not show. i am almost even positive that he is seeing someone. previously when we had problems he was always willing for us to talk and solve the problem. but this past year he rather ignore and pretend to go on like there is no problem.this really frustrates me. whenever i try to talk about our problems he says i like issues and i enjoy arguing.lately i also decided to just keep quite,because i don't know what to do anymore except pray.but its not always easy to pray because im so angry and disappointed in him. it feels as if though i made a mistake getting married to him he is not the man i fell in love with, he is totally a changed man. he does not show any sign of wanting to make our marriage work. he does not spend time at home , he does not even like it when i try to be all cuddly and loving with him, he always makes excuse that he is tired and feels sleepy , he does not even like to go out with us for walks like we use to before we got married.he can sees im not happy with the current situation but he does not even care or ask what is the matter . i feel stuck in a marriage in which im unhappy, i feel like i can not divorce him because;1 i know God hates divorce;2 because i don't want our kids to grow up without their father and 3; because i still love him, but i also do not want to be with a man that do not love me back or respect me as i do him. i feel so unhappy it feels like im not even giving my kids all the love they need because most of the time i am unhappy. please help me pray for God to grant me His peace and strength so that i keep fighting for my marriage, cause sometimes i really feel like throwing in the towel because my husband just don't seem to change at all.

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